More people than you know are drowning. There is no visible water, and everything appears to be fine. You look at some one, and you may never know that inside they are screaming, and throwing things, curled into a ball and rocking back and forth. They may be in public, but they want to be anywhere but. They may have spotlights and camera's upon them or they may be in the person in the cubicle next to you at work. That person may even be you.
I'm writing this to tell you that you are not alone, and that I know the water is dark, and deep and cold. I've been there. I've done that. I'm in it now. I have depression. I have dealt with it since at least my teen years. Sometimes it's bad, so bad that I don't want to get out of bed. I lay there with the radio on staring at the ceiling and not seeing anything. I'm there in just a daze, letting minutes, and hours, and life slip by. I have lost a lot of time like this. But I fight through because I know there is better out there. I know that I can eventually smile and mean it, and my laughter will be genuine. I believe that there will be days where all is right with the world.
The United States, and the rest of western civilization needs to make a change with how we view mental illness. There shouldn't be the stigma of oh poor Jane, those kids of hers caused her to lose it. Or poor Joe, he was never right, and I could see this coming. We should make it an effort to support those that are mentally ill. Support and encourage those that are going and seeking some kind of help. There are options out there. It's time to use them. It's also time to help people connect to those resources if there is a need. Don't brush it off with the "Oh, they do this every few months. It's just Lisa being Lisa." Lisa needs help, assist her in getting that help and she may be back to the Lisa you know and love.
When you feel alone, you are not. There is always some one out there that will listen to you, if you want to speak, or some one who will bring you popcorn, and will watch movies with you in otherwise silence, some one who will bring you a book. I have friends, I have family that will do that for me. I know that you may truly be alone somewhere and that makes things scarier, and harder to do. I understand that, but even at that point there are organizations and groups out there that will help you.
I know the world can seem black, and hopeless, and the only way out seems to be suicide. It's not the only way. You have so much light to shine in this world, so much to live for, even if you do not see it at those darkest of moments. There are people out there who love you, and care for you. Your light is just as bright as anyone else.
The dark is never so bad that a little light can not get in and be appreciated. There's a chink of sunlight coming through the window, and It's going to be a good day.
Here are some links, and numbers that may be able to help if they are ever needed.
National institute of mental health https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
Suicide prevention https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Suicide prevention phone number. 1-800-273-8255
Veterans Crisis line website: Activeheroes.org
Veterans crisis line website. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/
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