Five years ago if you would have told me that I would be pagan, and into the occult I would have laughed at you, and told you that you were nuts. My best friend really turned me onto that path, and I have found myself while working through the mysteries of nature, and the old gods. I have found where I am at peace, and where I need to work to heal emotionally. I know how to heal others, by listening to their deepest fears, and their hurts, wants and needs. They trust me, and I enjoy that. I value that. I protect their trust. It is sacred. At first I focused on energy development, and energy work. Putting energy into the palms of my hands, and then creating things between them. From that, I worked on sensing the energy around me. I worked on noticing nature, the cycles and patterns that it forms. The animals coming to life during the spring, The heat of summer, and the animals being active in the morning and evening, and laying low during the height of the day. To the frantic foraging and gathering of the fall. Preparing to hibernate, or fatten up to make it through the long, harsh, cold winters of southern Ohio.
I then turned my attention to examining past lives, I feel that I have had many, some I was very important, and others I was just a worker or craftsmen. Each life had some kind of a nature connection. A fisherman, a farmer, a soldier living off of prey from the hunt between battles. I had some very significant insights into my past lives while talking with people, and others would just kind of come to me. Each one that I have examined has shown and taught me different things. I do not often "see" or "hear" when I shift my mind into the other world mindset. I usually get impressions and "know." I spent a few years reading and researching everything I could get my hand on. My Library is well over 50 books and growing. I do not work with energy and the other senses as much as I should, and I feel that I need to revisit those practices.
My mindset has changed so much over the years. I am kinder, and gentler than I was. I am more accepting and open to opposing views. I am more open to nature, and personal freedoms. I don't judge others based upon an old dogmatic belief. I treat others as I would want them to treat me. I will not be abused or taken advantage of though, and that will never change. my concept of family has evolved over the years. It has gone from regimented, and traditional to a more tribal, and in some ways modern view.
I have developed a deeper understanding and appreciation of the planet earth. I dislike many of the things that we as a modern society are doing to our home, and I feel that nothing but bad will come from the road we are on. But I still hold out hope. Green technology is starting to take off, and I am glad that it is. The more affordable it becomes for the world to acquire, the better. We are only given one home planet, we had better take care of her. Without her, where are we going to live? My viewpoint has evolved, into more of a hippie world view I like the idea of renewable resources, and green technology. The view of the world as a global tribe.
The path that I am on may seem strange, or crazy. I choose to believe that the things I experience are true and valid. I will not knock some one else for their path. We are all on paths of our own, to a destination that is uniquely our own.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Family and Friends
Over the years how I define friends and family has changed. I have gotten closer to a few of my friends than I am with most of my cousins. And honestly, this to me is not sad. I see or hear from my friends so much more than I do most of my cousins. My friends are the family that I have chosen. They were not picked for my by the hands of fate. My friends have been there through the hardest times of my life. I have also been there for some of their toughest times. We have also laughed and had a lot of fun. There is a deep love, and comradeship between us all. When I met each one of them, there was this instant chemistry, something that went deep into my spirit and theirs.
My closest circle, I have known for at least 15 years. I have added one or two people to it since that time. I have talked to my friends, and have more in common with them than I do other members of my family that are near my age. My friends mean so much more to me than mere friends at this point in my life. We can share our fears with one another, we can talk about our triumphs and our sorrows. And we support one another. They're dependably there. We do pick at each other a lot, but that's to be expected when you have a group of extreme smart asses as friends. We pick each other up, when they're down, and stand beside them when things are going good.
Through hell and high water they have been there for me. They are my family, they are who I feel close to. There are certain members of my blood family that I still have a closeness to. But it's a small number. There are whole branches of my family that I have never met and I do not consider them to be related to me, other than being purely by chance. The fact that they are descended from a common ancestor means little to me.
My friends are my tribe and my inner circle. They have my loyalty, and my support in anything that they chose to do. They are people of spectacular character, great kind hearts, and a keen mind. They live with honor. I respect that in them, and know that they consider me to be part of their families, even if it is just in an extended way. I see my friends more often that I do most of my family. They may have my last name, but not much else. We have next to nothing in common. Opposing beliefs on so many things it would only create friction, and fissures in the fabric that the family is. That doesn't work for me. I like to be able to disagree, and agree to disagree. My friends do that.
My family consists of people that I choose to have in it. Not the people that I am born into the same ancestry, and heritage. Not the ones that I see only once every ten years, or have never seen. Why should they have my loyalty when we do not know one another? They don't have it. I give my love, loyalty and respect to my friends. My first cousins have it, my aunts and uncle have it. My Fiancé and her kids have it, Christina, Julie they have it as well.
My closest circle, I have known for at least 15 years. I have added one or two people to it since that time. I have talked to my friends, and have more in common with them than I do other members of my family that are near my age. My friends mean so much more to me than mere friends at this point in my life. We can share our fears with one another, we can talk about our triumphs and our sorrows. And we support one another. They're dependably there. We do pick at each other a lot, but that's to be expected when you have a group of extreme smart asses as friends. We pick each other up, when they're down, and stand beside them when things are going good.
Through hell and high water they have been there for me. They are my family, they are who I feel close to. There are certain members of my blood family that I still have a closeness to. But it's a small number. There are whole branches of my family that I have never met and I do not consider them to be related to me, other than being purely by chance. The fact that they are descended from a common ancestor means little to me.
My friends are my tribe and my inner circle. They have my loyalty, and my support in anything that they chose to do. They are people of spectacular character, great kind hearts, and a keen mind. They live with honor. I respect that in them, and know that they consider me to be part of their families, even if it is just in an extended way. I see my friends more often that I do most of my family. They may have my last name, but not much else. We have next to nothing in common. Opposing beliefs on so many things it would only create friction, and fissures in the fabric that the family is. That doesn't work for me. I like to be able to disagree, and agree to disagree. My friends do that.
My family consists of people that I choose to have in it. Not the people that I am born into the same ancestry, and heritage. Not the ones that I see only once every ten years, or have never seen. Why should they have my loyalty when we do not know one another? They don't have it. I give my love, loyalty and respect to my friends. My first cousins have it, my aunts and uncle have it. My Fiancé and her kids have it, Christina, Julie they have it as well.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Transformative Rebirth.
I have had this blog for four years. The two or three of you that ever looked at it, will notice all of the old blog entries are gone. I am starting a new journey. I am not the same person that I was when I began this woefully neglected and forgotten site all of those years ago. My life and my beliefs have changed drastically. I am much more for personal freedom than I used to be. I'm not going to have to deal with some one's individual consequences. It's their karma to work out and not mine. I have enough issues to be going on with at this moment to worry about anyone else's. It has been a long road, full of ups and downs. The path has meandered through forest, meadow, stream bed and precipice. A few people have been my support system through all of this, and I thank them and love them dearly. The changes are not over yet.
I plan on FINALLY moving within a couple of weeks. I can not wait for the changes that will bring into my life. I will finally be able to move towards my more authentic self without family pressures and expectations. I have had many revelations about myself the last few months. My ideals, and wants have changed a little bit. I'm at the point where I can honestly say that I am tired of the rat race. The needing the newest, the best. The shiniest. It's all poison. Poison in our foods, our drinks, and poison being poured into our very minds. I want out of it, to the best extent that I can. It's a recipe for self destruction. And it infuriates and saddens me.
My spiritual path has changed, in dynamic ways. It's been a long strange trip but I have enjoyed every second of it. It's been fun, enlightening and educational. I have realized that I have a call to be a councilor. I want to eventually become a priest and be able to serve the community at the religious and spiritual fringes. To truly listen to some one is among the greatest gifts that you can give them.
The love of music remains, but I don't know what I am going to do in that realm. There is something there, but what it is at this time I do not know. I still deeply enjoy listening to it, and wish to be involved some how. Maybe an online radio station will be how it will manifest.
I hope to write in this blog regularly, and hopefully something will grow out of this. I plan to hopefully document my journey, and my transformation as my life changes, and transforms. There is a new day coming, and I hope that I am the best person I can be.
I plan on FINALLY moving within a couple of weeks. I can not wait for the changes that will bring into my life. I will finally be able to move towards my more authentic self without family pressures and expectations. I have had many revelations about myself the last few months. My ideals, and wants have changed a little bit. I'm at the point where I can honestly say that I am tired of the rat race. The needing the newest, the best. The shiniest. It's all poison. Poison in our foods, our drinks, and poison being poured into our very minds. I want out of it, to the best extent that I can. It's a recipe for self destruction. And it infuriates and saddens me.
My spiritual path has changed, in dynamic ways. It's been a long strange trip but I have enjoyed every second of it. It's been fun, enlightening and educational. I have realized that I have a call to be a councilor. I want to eventually become a priest and be able to serve the community at the religious and spiritual fringes. To truly listen to some one is among the greatest gifts that you can give them.
The love of music remains, but I don't know what I am going to do in that realm. There is something there, but what it is at this time I do not know. I still deeply enjoy listening to it, and wish to be involved some how. Maybe an online radio station will be how it will manifest.
I hope to write in this blog regularly, and hopefully something will grow out of this. I plan to hopefully document my journey, and my transformation as my life changes, and transforms. There is a new day coming, and I hope that I am the best person I can be.
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