When you sit quietly, it's amazing the thoughts that you find bubbling up inside of your mind. It can be purely silent. But that is so rare as to be an astounding event. More often you go through the emotions you have experienced in a recent span of time. Some people it could just be the emotions of the day, yet for others it could be for the whole previous month. Memories come back into the mind, and it offers a rare, vital chance to examine them. Why did they make enough of an impact on you to come back? What can I learn from there reappearance?
Sometimes, memories and whispers are very recent memories to come back to you. I was back at my mom and dads over the labor day holiday, and I slept each night on the couch out in the family room. That is where I had my chance to reflect. I love the feeling of home, of calm and peace. It is something that I need to be a vital part of my life. The thing is, I won't be there much at all going forward. I will be where I need to be, and that is in Florida with my Fiancé. That feeling of love, calm, and peace will develop quickly. I think it will fast become one of my greatest feelings in the world.
The feeling won't last at my parents place either. My father is getting sicker, slowly but surely. I cherish the moments and memories that I have been able to create with him over the summer. Just sitting there and watching T.V or talking. None of us are promised tomorrow, but when you have some one in your family or close circle of friends that has a slow acting but terminal illness it puts things into perspective, and makes any and all time spent with them incredibly valuable.
The great thing, is that Mari and I have gotten to spend real quality time with my father. I will live 16 hours away from him. The day that I am that far from him is coming in the near future. It gets nearer and nearer to me by the day. Every memory that came back to me, while I was out in the family room, stretched out on the couch was a happy one. It made me feel warm, and it made me smile, and miss, and want something all at the same time. It was healthy, it was nice, it was what I needed. Those moments of reflection, reminded me of what I'm doing what I am doing for. I want that feeling of love, I want that feeling of family, and I want to create a place where people feel that they belong. Like they are more than just a guest, that they are a friend, and a part of something greater, and closer. Family.
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