I got my dads old acoustic guitar out of the car today, I had left it in there since labor day. I didn't know where I was going to put it. This guitar, is almost 50 years old. It is a sunburst acoustic, there are scratches on the back of it, the binding needs replaced on the neck, and the strings definitely need changed. I love that guitar, it holds memories for me. Dad would play it when I was a little kid sometimes, even if the only song it seemed like he knew was the theme to the old western "Bonanza." He would play, and just seem so relaxed. As he chorded across the neck, you could see the stress and tension of the day or days leaving his spirit, and his body. He would relax, and it would just be him, and the guitar. He felt that I was there, listening, but he wouldn't react. He was in a state of zen, a state of peace.
It was the first guitar that I had, I didn't play it often enough. Dad told me that I needed to learn chords, and then some simple songs. I never did, I would play the notes that sounded best to me, or I would play the few Metallica intros that I had learned from guitar tabs. I used to have it leaning against the dresser, within arms reach of my bed at all hours of the day and night. If I woke up in the middle of the night, I would reach over and grab it, play for a few minutes and go back to sleep.
The guitar is old, broken, worn. Some would argue to replace it, I'm not going to. That's MY guitar, it's my dad's guitar. It's memories, and something of a friend. I appreciate the age, and the imperfections in the guitar.
Some of my best friends have been broken. Survivors of abusive childhoods, adult relationships, mental illness and depression. They all have a value. To help some one through those road blocks, and out of those dark patches, to listen as they tell their story, it creates a bond between you and them. It creates a trust, it creates a friendship, and it creates even more than that. It is healing to have some one to listen to you, when you tell of your darkest fears, things that have happened to you. It is cleansing, when the person on the other couch, across the room, or across the country listens and does not judge. The listener often doesn't realize what they are doing, in the simple act of listening. It is empowering, it gives them a new courage, a new strength. Listening, truly listening shows that some one else out there cares for them. The listener gains from the act as well. Compassion, understanding, tolerance. It adds depth to both.
The Japanese take broken things, and they repair them. The repairs are usually done using Gold, or silver. They say the broken and repaired object has a history, a repaired object, is one that is put back together that can tell it's story. they call it Kintsugi. It literally means "To patch with gold."
My friends, my family have all been repaired. Not with gold in a physical sense of the word, but in ways that are much more important, and valuable, vital to their well being. Emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Even if it's in on going process.
Now, to look into eventually fixing my guitar...
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Hard Roads, hard choices, And Changes.
The world as we knew it growing up has changed. But then, it does for everyone as they grow up. For us though, it's been a little bit harder. The jobs are gone, the pay has dwindled. The few good jobs that are left, you need a college degree that can cost more than a home in the 1960's and 70's. It's going to require changes. Changes in the economic structure of the country, a change in the banking laws. A home big enough to house a family should not cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. What is expected of us, to just survive is cruel. Working so much that you have no time to spend with your children, no time to spend with your spouse. It's not what should have EVER happened. The banking system is an agent of evil within this world. They've found their way into the education system. A college education today, costs more than a house and two new cars did in the 1970's. A lot of the degrees you get from colleges are not even worth the paper that they have been printed on. Debt is modern day slavery, all races are affected by it, all races are held down.
Individuality has been so neatly destroyed, no one really has their own style or ideas anymore. Thinking outside of the box is discouraged. The big obsession the last several years has been the Zombie Apocalypse. What people fail to realize, is that the Zombie Apocalypse is here. Thinking for yourself has gone out the window. Everyone walks around in a mindless haze, either staring off into space, or staring blankly into their smart phone checking their twitter accounts and facebook feeds. People are so aloof that they do not notice the beauty around them. The beauty in birdsong, and the play of sunlight through the canopy of trees in the distance.
The idea of working together for the local cause has gone away. Replaced by the take mentality. Using resources, and ignoring the suffering of the world around you. No longer should we look only inward. We look inward, and we do not see anything anyway, so even that is pointless. We need to look out, look around us, and see the state of our fellow man, the animals and plants around us. Suffering caused by lack of anything that can be materially provided in a first world country is tragic. It's pointless, it's something that should not be. 1% of the country should not control more than the remaining 99%. Suffering, and strife occurs around us on a daily basis, yet we are blind to it. Are we truly blind, or do we see it, and refuse to see it, to consider what it means? Why are they going through a hard time, can we help them? If we can help them, how do we do just so? How do we become more engaged with our neighbors, our community?
Get involved, talk to the people around you. Establish a bond with other families. Let your kids play together, and truly be kids. Let them explore the world, come up with games that they can play. Let them make believe, let them be a prince or princess and knights, or what ever they with so be even for a little while. Throw community parties, cook outs, bon fires. Anything to build a bond between people around you. Support one another, learn music, and play together. Help them when it is needed, and support them if it's needed. Emotionally, spiritually, and by material means if necessary. Do not tolerate violence, or those that seek to manipulate and abuse the community generosity. They are a threat to the good of the family, the tribe, and the community.
A way to get out of the grasps of the money manipulators is by going smaller in scale, consider those around you, and work with them. Secure what you need, and Live on what you can get. Be aware, be open to change, and new ideas. Consider new sources of energy, green and renewable. Consider growing a lot of your own food if you can. create a community garden for your neighborhood if there is an open space where you can do so. If you have no free space, grow a garden on your patio, using totes, or planters.
Learn to live again, learn to love, learn to laugh. The world will be better for it. Care for our fellow creatures, is what we need to work on developing. No matter our lot in society, we are all people, on this earth at this time. Working our lives away, is not what we are meant to be doing.
Individuality has been so neatly destroyed, no one really has their own style or ideas anymore. Thinking outside of the box is discouraged. The big obsession the last several years has been the Zombie Apocalypse. What people fail to realize, is that the Zombie Apocalypse is here. Thinking for yourself has gone out the window. Everyone walks around in a mindless haze, either staring off into space, or staring blankly into their smart phone checking their twitter accounts and facebook feeds. People are so aloof that they do not notice the beauty around them. The beauty in birdsong, and the play of sunlight through the canopy of trees in the distance.
The idea of working together for the local cause has gone away. Replaced by the take mentality. Using resources, and ignoring the suffering of the world around you. No longer should we look only inward. We look inward, and we do not see anything anyway, so even that is pointless. We need to look out, look around us, and see the state of our fellow man, the animals and plants around us. Suffering caused by lack of anything that can be materially provided in a first world country is tragic. It's pointless, it's something that should not be. 1% of the country should not control more than the remaining 99%. Suffering, and strife occurs around us on a daily basis, yet we are blind to it. Are we truly blind, or do we see it, and refuse to see it, to consider what it means? Why are they going through a hard time, can we help them? If we can help them, how do we do just so? How do we become more engaged with our neighbors, our community?
Get involved, talk to the people around you. Establish a bond with other families. Let your kids play together, and truly be kids. Let them explore the world, come up with games that they can play. Let them make believe, let them be a prince or princess and knights, or what ever they with so be even for a little while. Throw community parties, cook outs, bon fires. Anything to build a bond between people around you. Support one another, learn music, and play together. Help them when it is needed, and support them if it's needed. Emotionally, spiritually, and by material means if necessary. Do not tolerate violence, or those that seek to manipulate and abuse the community generosity. They are a threat to the good of the family, the tribe, and the community.
A way to get out of the grasps of the money manipulators is by going smaller in scale, consider those around you, and work with them. Secure what you need, and Live on what you can get. Be aware, be open to change, and new ideas. Consider new sources of energy, green and renewable. Consider growing a lot of your own food if you can. create a community garden for your neighborhood if there is an open space where you can do so. If you have no free space, grow a garden on your patio, using totes, or planters.
Learn to live again, learn to love, learn to laugh. The world will be better for it. Care for our fellow creatures, is what we need to work on developing. No matter our lot in society, we are all people, on this earth at this time. Working our lives away, is not what we are meant to be doing.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Whispers, Reflection.
When you sit quietly, it's amazing the thoughts that you find bubbling up inside of your mind. It can be purely silent. But that is so rare as to be an astounding event. More often you go through the emotions you have experienced in a recent span of time. Some people it could just be the emotions of the day, yet for others it could be for the whole previous month. Memories come back into the mind, and it offers a rare, vital chance to examine them. Why did they make enough of an impact on you to come back? What can I learn from there reappearance?
Sometimes, memories and whispers are very recent memories to come back to you. I was back at my mom and dads over the labor day holiday, and I slept each night on the couch out in the family room. That is where I had my chance to reflect. I love the feeling of home, of calm and peace. It is something that I need to be a vital part of my life. The thing is, I won't be there much at all going forward. I will be where I need to be, and that is in Florida with my Fiancé. That feeling of love, calm, and peace will develop quickly. I think it will fast become one of my greatest feelings in the world.
The feeling won't last at my parents place either. My father is getting sicker, slowly but surely. I cherish the moments and memories that I have been able to create with him over the summer. Just sitting there and watching T.V or talking. None of us are promised tomorrow, but when you have some one in your family or close circle of friends that has a slow acting but terminal illness it puts things into perspective, and makes any and all time spent with them incredibly valuable.
The great thing, is that Mari and I have gotten to spend real quality time with my father. I will live 16 hours away from him. The day that I am that far from him is coming in the near future. It gets nearer and nearer to me by the day. Every memory that came back to me, while I was out in the family room, stretched out on the couch was a happy one. It made me feel warm, and it made me smile, and miss, and want something all at the same time. It was healthy, it was nice, it was what I needed. Those moments of reflection, reminded me of what I'm doing what I am doing for. I want that feeling of love, I want that feeling of family, and I want to create a place where people feel that they belong. Like they are more than just a guest, that they are a friend, and a part of something greater, and closer. Family.
Sometimes, memories and whispers are very recent memories to come back to you. I was back at my mom and dads over the labor day holiday, and I slept each night on the couch out in the family room. That is where I had my chance to reflect. I love the feeling of home, of calm and peace. It is something that I need to be a vital part of my life. The thing is, I won't be there much at all going forward. I will be where I need to be, and that is in Florida with my Fiancé. That feeling of love, calm, and peace will develop quickly. I think it will fast become one of my greatest feelings in the world.
The feeling won't last at my parents place either. My father is getting sicker, slowly but surely. I cherish the moments and memories that I have been able to create with him over the summer. Just sitting there and watching T.V or talking. None of us are promised tomorrow, but when you have some one in your family or close circle of friends that has a slow acting but terminal illness it puts things into perspective, and makes any and all time spent with them incredibly valuable.
The great thing, is that Mari and I have gotten to spend real quality time with my father. I will live 16 hours away from him. The day that I am that far from him is coming in the near future. It gets nearer and nearer to me by the day. Every memory that came back to me, while I was out in the family room, stretched out on the couch was a happy one. It made me feel warm, and it made me smile, and miss, and want something all at the same time. It was healthy, it was nice, it was what I needed. Those moments of reflection, reminded me of what I'm doing what I am doing for. I want that feeling of love, I want that feeling of family, and I want to create a place where people feel that they belong. Like they are more than just a guest, that they are a friend, and a part of something greater, and closer. Family.
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